Like most parents of my generation, I too struggled when it came to feeding my children. With Nirbhay we lucked out, because he was pretty much a foodie from Day 1 of starting solids. He literally ‘loves’ 98% of what I offer him.
With Adhyant however, it wasn’t as easy. For a baby who loved his mommy’s milk, solids held no real appeal. His instant reaction to them was rejection. My own knowledge at the time on introducing solids was sketchy and I relied on information from elders in addition to what I was reading on a few websites. After beginning with purees, it became increasingly difficult for Adhyant to transition to more varied textures. I didn’t give up and kept offering him what we cooked at home (minus salt, sugar, chilli). But the process was painfully frustrating. Mealtimes were dreaded and we slowly went down the path of distraction feeding in order to get what I thought was the required nutrition into him. I learnt from my mistakes over the years and thankfully the persistence on nutritious homemade food did eventually pay off. He gradually started accepting normal solid textures but the bad habit of distraction lived for longer than desired. One book that helped me during that phase was ‘My Child Won’t Eat’ by Carlos Gonzalez. It gave me both hope and confidence and I was able to reverse all the mistakes I had made.
Also read : Introducing solids – 12 guidelines for weaning your baby
The idea of not forcing a child to eat is the central thesis of the book. This act of not forcing isn’t advocated as a method to get your child to eat more. Rather it’s advised to be a way to show your child your love and respect for them.
Gonzalez happens to be both a pediatrician and father himself and unlike many other Doctors his knowledge on nutrition is factual – grounded by both evidence and experience. His advice helps parents realise that mealtimes need not be a battle. The several examples he illustrates on how children on every end of the spectrum when it comes to eating, weight and growth are almost always ‘normal’- comes as a welcome relief to parents struggling with feeding their young ones.
His book points out how It is likely that children have always eaten more or less the same. But the amount that mothers expected them to eat, has drastically changed in the last century. That’s probably why parents filled with anxiety related to their child’s eating habits is a modern day phenomenon.
Here are highlights of some of the points Gonzalez is able to put across:
ON GROWTH AND FOOD QUANTITIES
- Growth is not a consequence of good nutrition. Children do not grow because of what they eat; they eat because they’re growing. Likewise withholding food from a child will not make him grow up to be smaller, unless he is truly malnourished.
- Individual adult size depends basically on genes and only in small part on nutrition.
- Small children have smaller stomachs. They need concentrated food, high in calories but low in volume. They don’t have enough space in their tummies to fulfill their calorific requirements through only veg and fruit – (which are often low in calories but high in volume).
- The amount of food that any person needs varies greatly. Some children eat much more or much less than their peers of the same age and size. It is a common mistake to want all children to be above the mean
- There are many reasons why some children eat more or less than others – Age/ Size/ Rate of growth/ Physical activity are all important factors. But also intrinsic metabolic factors.
ON BREASTFEEDING AND THE ALTERNATIVES
- Human milk always nourishes better than formula and also better than solids.
- Several studies have found that children that were breastfed less than six months have higher rates of obesity and are more likely to be overweight at four and six years of age.
- Nursing sessions shortening and fussing during nursing could be baby getting older and faster at nursing or allergies – cow’s milk, egg, soy, fish. If children nurse fast they may spend less than 10 mins and if they nurse slowly, they will take longer.
- Children over 1 yr of age should have less than 500 ml of milk as it leaves little room for other foods. It is too easy to drink too much milk when using a bottle.
- Human milk is a living tissue in the process of constant change. The amount of fat increases as the feeding progresses.
- Babies need to nurse irregularly. Only then can they get a balanced diet. Keep breastfeeding till 2 years or beyond.
- Offer breast on demand
- Mothers can have insufficient milk when:
- -Baby doesn’t nurse enough (filled with formula/something else)
- -Nurses incorrectly (tongue placement / tongue tie etc)
- – Baby is not allowed to nurse (gaps)
- Generally speaking, bottle fed babies accept solids better than breastfed babies. This is probably because human milk contains all the nutrients and vitamins a baby needs; formula does not. Human milk is the only food that is capable of satisfying all needs of human body.
HEALTHY FOOD HABITS
- Your child knows what he or she needs. Each person, each creature has innate mechanisms that cause him to look for the foods he needs and to eat the right amounts.
- Now that we have sweets that are much sweeter than fruit, and snacks that are much saltier than meat, our selection mechanism has gone a little haywire.
- If you want your child to eat healthy food, you must stop giving him ‘treats’. Parents often complain that their child eats junk. Your child is too young to go to the supermarket and buy these things. He can only eat what his parents offer.
- The less healthy a food is, the more they need to advertise it.
- Children can choose a healthy diet on the condition that we offer them healthy alternatives.
- It is the parents responsibility only to offer a variety of healthy foods. It is up to the child to choose among these foods, what he eats and how much.
- A child cannot wait for food. His hunger pangs are urgent and his food changes if the meal gets delayed.
WHAT NOT TO DO AT MEALTIMES
- Show lack of patience.
- Night time bottles or raids while a baby is sleeping to make sure they get in a certain amount.
- Hateful comparisons
- Bribes – This makes the child think that the particular food must not be very good if they offer me a prize in order to try it.
- Appetite Stimulants should be avoided at all costs
- Healthy feeding behaviours are guided by internal cues – hunger, satiety – not external cues (pressure/promises/ punishments/publicity)
- Do not force children to eat more so they can sleep better. Babies and kids do not sleep more when they have more solids.
GUIDELINES REGARDING HEALTHCARE PROVIDERS
- What really matters is what the mother says as she is the one who sees the child every day.
- Next in importance is the doctor’s examination which includes physical health and development.
- Least imp is the weight check- main point of it is to have a reference number – should the child become ill to see how much weight was lost
ADDITIONAL POINTS
- The majority of children who don’t eat do it simply because they do not need more food. The only attention they intend to get is to let us know – Hey, I’m finished eating
- If a child is doing something to get attention, then they do need more attention than they’re getting.
- Habitual juice and soft drink consumption instead of water is one of the causes of childhood and youth obesity that is so prevalent these days. Fruit is healthy, not fruit juice.
- Small stomachs get full with juice and then they can’t eat anything else. Older children have the opposite problem. Their stomach fits all that they need to eat plus juice which leads to obesity
- All babies spit up (GER). Babies have the opening to their stomach open and food will come out. Around one year it starts to close and they stop spitting up. They will also spit up when forced to eat.
- It is not fair to teach a child to eat only when an adult feeds him, and then complain because he won’t eat by himself.
- Whether he eats by himself or you feed him, the plate should be taken away when a child says or gestures I’m finished.
- Meal schedules are one of the most interesting myths of our cultures. In reality, no one follows a rigid eating schedule. Some say it is dangerous to sleep on a full stomach – food won’t digest. Others say fill your baby up before bed so he will sleep through the night.
So if you’re dealing with a child you have labelled as a fussy or picky eater – do pick up a copy of this book and give it a read.
Related Posts:
Child Nutrition: Why our children are in trouble
The importance of a balanced diet for your child
12 guidelines for introducing solids